by the time someone brought it to my attention
i was four beers past my sober intentions
three hours ago i phoned
and promised i'd be home
i'm sure she's sitting there planning my lynchin'

i couldn't leave until the last strike was thrown
and then someone filled the jukebox up with jones
when the bartender gave last call
i knew i'd stayed too long at the ball
anyone seen my wallet my keys or my phone?

   take me drunk, i'm home
   i'll never find it on my own
   i break a promise every time i find this stool
   take me drunk, i'm home
   take the one boot i've still got on
   try to kick some sense into this drunken fool

i've tried so hard to be the man that she deserves
i just stopped after work for one to calm my nerves
but one turns into ten
i'm falling down again
the straight-and-narrow is filled with dangerous curves

repeat chorus

heck, do it again.....